The Itty Bitty Titty Tribune

Overall rating: F
Female looks: C-
Male looks: C-
Picture quality: B-
Extras: D-
Plot/acting: N/A
Sex: C-
Your Sister Loves Theesomes
95 MinsWhite Ghetto

www.whiteghetto.com
THEMES: 3-Somes

2010
STARS: Nicole Nowak, Mavina Maywood, and Andrea Wild

REVIEW-
I have not seen a porno this bad in a very long time.  I honestly didn’t expect much from this movie, and I got much less than I expected.  I will save your time and not make this review too long.  Let me get straight to brass tacks.  The first scene was not good.  The plot description was printed on the screen.  Literally printed.  “Andrea wants a threesome and her brother’s friends are about to give it to her.”

Then two guys with smaller penises have average sex with her.  She’s a little overweight, and so are they.  They compliment her average C-cup natural breasts and her very hairy bush.  The scene ends with a cream pie, and it really doesn’t keep my interest.  It doesn’t help though that I am not into incredibly hairy beavers.

Scene two had no sound.  That’s right.  It had no fucking sound!  The same two guys and the same printed plot description.  They seem to interview the girl for 5 minutes before they fuck her, but it is pretty fucking lame with no sound.  Let me say this again, there was no fucking sound.

Scene three had no fucking sound either.  So I pretty much skipped to the end.  It had the same guys, etc.  There were no noteworthy extra scenes.  Just photos and a website commercial.  White ghetto, you should be ashamed of this shitty product.

Kid Cocky

Review:

Un-Natural Sex #14- Time- 151 minutes Company- Diabolic Director- Chico Wang Cast- Missy Monroe, Janet Alfano, Trina Michaels, Tiffany Holiday, Kelly Wells, Lyla Lei Review-When my main man Roger T. Pipe told me that he had a very special DVD on its way for me, I knew I was in for something good. I am absolutely convinced that when Roger Pipe says that a DVD is going to be interesting, then you can count on it. This man knows porn. He knows porn like the back of his hand. In fact the back of his hand has a lot to do with his knowledge of porn.So I looked up the term “Unnatural Sex.” This is what I got: “Unnatural sex is the term of disapproval originating in medieval theology and denoting behaviors that are “contra naturam”, i.e. against the will of God as revealed in nature. This belief in divine revelation through nature itself is also known as the doctrine of Natural Law.”Well, I guess if any DVD represents Un-Natural sex, it would be this DVD. First off, every single girl performs double anal. Let me say that again. EVERY GIRL PERFORMS DOUBLE ANAL. The amazing part of this is revealed behind the scenes. Although a few of the girls are nervous about it, they all seem pretty upbeat about the fact that they are going to be double poked. It isn’t like they are upset that their sphincters are going to be stretched beyond their natural limits, they are pretty much looking forward to the experience. One girl even requests that she gets rewarded with double vaginal penetration. This isn’t because she is told to say that for the camera. This is because she says that she is genuinely into double vaginal and she thinks that it will be fun. Now I have known a few girls who like double vag, but they are usually overweight mothers. These girls are good looking super-skanks who love having their holes filled for money.Going on with the Un-Natural part: The girls don’t do the usual progression from vaginal, then anal, then DP, then double anal penetration. They start off with the double meat. In fact, their pussies don’t get much solo action at all. One of the bitches STARTS with double anal. That means she goes strait from the makeup chair to having 2 cocks in her asshole. Amazingly, she and all of the other girls do double anal without so much as a whimper. Missy, who takes more cum than my special toilet, didn’t seem to show any signs of fatigue except a completely destroyed asshole. The poor thing looked like a train wreck. As she jumped off the two cocks, she went in for an ass to mouth. As she turned around to swallow the cock, she muttered to herself as she paused, “I don’t think I’ll be able to walk again.” Other than that though, none of the girls showed the slightest problem. Speaking of unnatural sex, both Lyla Lei and Tiffany Holiday have some serious mental problems. Behind the scenes, Tiffany can’t stop talking about her molestation as a child. Lyla, as she has in several other of her porn videos, talks about how she fools around with animals. In the case of Lyla, I could believe that she only says it because it draws attention. Of course, nothing surprises me when it comes to people’s sexual interests. Tiffany however definitely needs some counseling. They incorporate her molestation into the scene. It doesn’t interest me. I just hope that she can heal mentally. All-in-all this was a great movie. The sex was incredible. It is a must watch.

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We would like to take a moment and point out that Xpeeps.com is one of our favorite websites.  It is essentially the adult version of MySpace.  It is completely free, and there are thousands of real people on there showing their favorite adult photos.

The bad part is that much like MySpace, the page is getting less and less popular.  Sure there are still tons of people on there.  However, it seems that two thirds of the ladies are trying to sell a product.  Also, there are (not suprisingly) a lot more dudes than chicks.  However, if you are lucky you can still get on the site and meet some cool sexy people.  It is worth checking out. 

www.xpeeps.com.

From New Sensations, the studio that brought you the AVN Award winning sex-comedy, 30 Rock: A XXX Parody, cums a spoof of one of the biggest cult films of all time- The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody! It is a XXX parody that dares to bring the world a dirty spoof that is better than good and thorough. It is great and thorough!

When some horny thugs almost drown Jeffrey Lebowski in his own toilet and leave some splooge on his new VHS porn tapes (the tapes that really tied his porn collection together), it sets off a sexy and funny chain of events. You will absolutely get to see coitus, in and out, the physical act of love, fuckin’ A, and some orgasm-achieving from one of the biggest Lebowski’s you have ever seen!

What will happen in The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody? Will you finally get to witness the true version of logjammin’, hardcore the way it was meant to be seen? Will you get to see this horny dude get his gutterballs drained? Will the dude accept bunny’s offer of oral coitus? Will Brandt watch? And will that cable repairman finally fix the cable?

A resounding yes is the answer to these and other questions in New Sensations’ The Big Lebowski: A XXX Parody!

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Overall rating: C+
Female looks: C+
Male looks: C+
Picture quality: B+
Extras: C
Plot/acting: N/A
Sex: C

Desperate MILFS and Housewives Volume #9
MOVIE TYPE: All Sex

141 Mins.

Pink Visual
THEMES: MILF

CONDOMS: None

20010

STARS: Lori Lust, Mason, Cat Cleavage, Michelle Lay, Cameron Keys

REVIEW-

This is a pretty simple movie.  We get to see some cougars get fucked by some younger studs.  It makes sense right?  Well, let’s review movie and give you a taste of some cougar meat. 

Let’s focus on one of the scenes.  In this case it is Cameron Keys with two black cocks, taking turns giving her a good rogering.  Cameron’s about 37, which is old for a porn star, so I guess she qualifies as a MILF. 

Born in Southern New Jersey, right across the bridge from Philadelphia, in August 1973, Cameron had been acting her entire life. She started as a child on stage in school and community productions. She started college (at Stockton State in Absecon, NJ) as a musical theater major, but later changed it to psychology with a minor in Criminology. She has studied acting for many years, and hopes to cross over into mainstream.  However, today she plans to get fucked by two black guys.

The scene is good.  It isn’t great, but she seems to enjoy herself.  There is a lot of vaginal sex while she blows the other guy.  Her light skin is accented by the dark cocks.  It all plays well to the “lonely housewife” stereotype.

Lori Lust is also in the movie.  She claims to be 29 years old, which is hardly a cougar, but that is pretty old by porn standards.  She’s also a decent looking blonde, and she seems to have a time in her sex scene with two white guys.  In fact, she REALLY seems to enjoy herself.  Again, there is no anal or anything extreme.  She just has solid enjoyable sex. 

Overall, the DVD delivers what is promises.  Horny “housewives” getting fucked while their pretend husbands are away.  I always appreciate truth in advertising.  However, this DVD was nothing special.  Solid sex, decent looking older ladies, and plenty of sex. 

Kid Cocky

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Kendra Wilkinson’s sex tape is not only the best selling celebrity sex tape of all time, it is actually getting positive reviews! Tweeters and celebrity sites like Egotastic are saying if you buy only one celebrity porn in your life, it should be Kendra Exposed. Congratulations to @KendraWilkinson and her husband, what’s his name, on their success!

“Laugh if you will, but the Kendra Wilkinson sex tape is actually one of the better sex tapes I’ve ever seen, and, yeah, I’ve seen them all. In the 25-minute tape, we get to see a future Playboy Playmate, butt-naked and all kinds of sexy, knocking boots in full focus…” — Egotastic.com

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Overall Rating- F
Female Looks- C
Male Looks- F
Sex- C-
Plot/Acting- N/A
Extras- F
A/V Quality F

Click to Buy

Time- 75 minutes

Company- New Machine

Director- Ed “Limp” Powers

Cast- Dallas D’Amore, Crystal, Keisha, Blond Dee, Terry Ellis

Review-

Ok, so I have decided to write this review while I am watching the movie. So, you are going to get my comments on the movie as I watch it. The movie begins with the voice of Ed Powers. Ed is talking about the upcoming scene. He explains that he was doing a casting call for his Dirty Debutante series when he ran across a girl who didn’t qualify for the series. Apparently, she has done some porn before, so Ed can’t put her in the Debutante series. So, he has decided to cast her in the movie Anal Invasion. She claims to have been in movies before, but only a select few. By the look of this lady, this was filmed in the early 90’s. She has dyed blonde hair, real tits, and a little extra cellulite. She’s pretty decent looking though. The guy lubes her up with some anal foreplay, and then slowly starts to fuck her ass. She claims that she hasn’t done this before, and when Ed asks her what exactly hasn’t she done, she claims that she has never had anal sex in any way before. Her ass is really tight, and the scene takes forever to start to get going. However, it is somewhat erotic since she is new to this sort of thing.

He pulls out of her ass and sits on the couch. Within seconds, this girl is tossing his salad. The guy’s ass is extremely hairy and nasty, but she doesn’t seem to mind licking and sucking his manhole. She tosses is salad from several positions. I’m about to fast forward it because I am getting tired of seeing his ass, but she has finally decided to do something new. They shift positions and… she’s licking his again.

Now, he has decided to make out with this chick. Is Kid Cocky the only dude who refuses to taste his own ass? Anyway, he stops kissing this chick and decided to cum on her face. She takes a nasty load on the face, and the start with the kissing again… what a juggalo!

Next we have a scene starring Dallas and Ed Powers. One thing I have to point out is that the lighting for this movie is horrible. It looks like it is filmed in a basement. Hell, I could run my web cam and get a better picture than this. Dallas is currently doing a lot of posing. She too claims she hasn’t done anal before, but who knows if that is true. She looks like she has been around the block a few times. Usually a tattoo and a few piercings are a good sign that a girl has at least tried anal sex. She also hasn’t shaved her pussy. It’s just a hairy mess. That’s an obvious sign that this is an older movie. Ed has now whipped out his dick and decided to offer it as a treat to Dallas. His cock is pretty damn small. In fact, it is ridiculously small for a girl the size of Dallas. She does a good job of blowing him, and she even “deep throats” Ed. However, I doubt she even has to take it in her throat to deep throate his entire cock. She has now bent over to take some cock in the backside. Only time will tell if Ed decids to go right for the poop shoot, or if he sdecided to try his luck in her crimson canal. He’s decided to go for the pussy. A wise decision for Ed Powers. However, he has a finger in her ass to simulate that DP effect. Dallas is a little overweight, and that makes her real tits shake pretty well as Ed fucks her. Now it is time for the ass reaming. Ed puts her in a doggy style position, and they start doing at it. With little or no warm-up, Ed is able to put all 5 inches in her but. Gee Ed, Don’t overwhelm her. Well, the end to this scene can’t cum soon enough. Ed’s old ass is really pretty nasty. Now, I am not sure what just happened. Ed claims he came “all over.” I didn’t see anything. Maybe the cameraman missed it. I’m going to rewind and let you know. Yep, Ed either faked a cumshot or he didn’t cum at all.

Now, for the second time, I have got an error message on my DVD player. It says that the DVD is damaged. I just pulled the DVD out of the player, and there are some bubbles on the DVD’s surface. This is upsetting because I pulled this DVD out of the box for the first time 45 minutes ago. I’ve had this problem before with Ed Powers movies.

In the next scene, Ed fucks Keisha. Since this has such a low budget, Ed has decided to use a tripod rather than hire a cameraman. Why am I even wasting my time with this video? This is horrible!

Ok, in the scene after that, Ed is fucking Blond Dee. While he undresses the girl, he is giving the cameraman directions on how to use the camera. Hell, my home movies are better quality than this. The chicks are hotter too! HOLY SHIT. This movie has just had something that I have never seen before. There is an apology. In the middle of the scene, it cuts out to a separate text scene that states that the rest of the scene has been deleted. In the movie’s own words, “Because Ed felt like he looked like a fat tub of shit.” That’s it. I am not going to watch anymore of this crappy movie. If the director even states that they want to “spare you by editing out his fatass out of the video,” then you KNOW the movie sucks.

Ok, this movie isn’t worth the plastic it is made of. I’ve seen movies where I don’t like the sex, but this is just a piss poor porno. Damn it Ed, you can do better!  Click to Buy

Kid Cocky

“I didn’t pay money to see Grandpa Tubby fuck some nasty dude.”

Overall Rating- A
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Female Looks- A

Male Looks- A-

Sex- A-

Plot/Acting- N/A

Extras- A

A/V Quality A

Time- 3 hours

Company- Red Light District

Director- Erik Everhard

Cast- Angel Dark, Jasmine, Roxy, Bianca, Erik Everhard, and Katja

The title of this DVD is Anal POV. What confused me at first is that POV usually means Point of View. As in, the video is shot in the first person’s point of view. In this case, POV stood for Prostitutes on Video. Coincidentally, this movie is shot in the first person point of view, as Erik was seemingly too cheap to hire a videographer. No worries though, he does a good job catching the action himself. BUY IT NOW

Eric is a fantastic male porn star. He isn’t afraid to have hardcore anal sex with the girls, but he somehow seems to do so in a manner that they enjoy. This two disc DVD is filled with tons of extras, and you can tell that Erik really enjoyed making this movie. BUY IT NOW

His first conquest was named Angel Dark. This Slovakian beauty has also gone by the name Esmeralda, Angel, Viktoria, Dark Angel, Pauline, and Paulin. I can’t think of another brunette who has a more beautiful body than her. Her 34 C’s more than fill her outfits, and her face is just gorgeous. Hell, I can’t begin to explain how beautiful I think she is. BUY IT NOW

Erik must also think that she is gorgeous. He fucks the hell out of all of her holes before prematurely ejaculating in her face. She greedily gobbles up each spurt, and laughs at the unexpected surprise. Erik, the true professional that he is, doesn’t end the scene there. He takes his dick, sticks it back in her ass, and fucks her until he is ready to cum again. This is the type of thing that makes Erik one of my favorite porn stars. Sure, he blew his load too early. Did he give up? No! He just busted another nut for his dark haired maiden. It was great. She had to finish the rest of the scene with a load of man-jizz all over her face, and she looked fantastic. BUY IT NOW

Katja is as German as the come. Her fake red hair and European glasses were a dead giveaway. Having just filmed a “Cum on my Glasses” video, Katja requested that Erik jizz on her glasses so she could lick the cum off. As discussed in the behind the scenes, Erik did just that. BUY IT NOW

Jasmin and Roxy have a 3-some. There’s plenty of ass eating, anal beads, ATMs, and all sorts of dirty anal fantasies fulfilled in this scene. Again, another great performance. BUY IT NOW

The behind the scenes are great. On several occasions Erik puts the camera down, and fucks these girls for their own enjoyment. It was kind of cool because the girls don’t know the camera is on, and he just fucks and licks their pussies just because he and the girls are horny. That is another reason why Erik is one of the best male porn stars in the industry. He likes fucking, and girls like getting fucked by him. It reminds me of the golden age of porn where people did it because they loved to fuck. BUY IT NOW

Although these chicks were no more prostitutes than any other porn star, this was a great video. My only complaint is that I would have liked a couple more scenes. BUY IT NOW

Happy Humpin’,

Kid Cocky

“Deeze nutz, not just for your mama anymore!”

Porn on the Forth of July - Buy it here

Kid Cocky

Overall Rating- B

Female Looks-  B

Male Looks- D

Sex- B

Plot/Acting- N/A

Extras- A

A/V Quality A

Time- 105 Minutes

Company- Mirage Media

Director- Lance

Cast- Oasis, Topless Jamie, and about 10 dudes 

“Released March 15th, 2004! This DVD is the action from our 3-day Weekend on July 4th, 2003. It contains two gangbangs (one with Oasis & Jaime, the other with Oasis alone), a Bukkake scene and a Girl/Girl/Girl scene in our pool that is smokin’ hot! The entire video is nearly an hour and 45 minutes long! Plus lots of cool extras!”

Oasis really loves cock.  I really don’t know anyone who loves cock more than this lady.  It doesn’t matter if it is black, white, yellow, long, short, thick, thin, hairy, Indian, Polish, Mexican, plastic, cut, uncut, dirty, clean, freckled, tattooed, greasy, hard, flaccid, or di-phylactic.  As long as it is human and disease free, I bet there is a pretty good chance that Oasis would suck it. 

You can really tell something about the style of a movie by the way it begins.  The beginning of this one tells a lot.  Oasis is standing in her back yard flipping burgers on the grill.  She’s wearing a thong and not much else.  Pretty soon one of her guests walks up to the grill.  He is wearing a apron and nothing else.  The apron has a hole where his dick hangs out.  She hands off the spatula so he can take care of the burger meat.  Then she drops to her knees and takes care of his meat.  Friends and other guests cheer them on as she tenderizes his beef and robs him of his gravy.  Unfortunatly for the vagitarians, she never tosses him a salad. 

The real action occurs in the house.  Oasis’ living room has a king sized mattress on the floor.  She and her friend Jamie, a couple who I like to call the dynamic duo, take on a room full of black and white cock for as long as they are willing to give it.  One of the black guys gives it to Oasis so hard that it almost puts her out of commission for the weekend.  Fortunately for the guys, this gangbang isn’t even close to the final scene.  There is also a shower scene where Oasis surprises one of her guests with an unexpected blowjob while he takes his morning shower on the fifth of July.  There is a three girl scene with Topless April, Oasis, and Jamie where they fuck in the pool.  Finally there is an eight man gangbang scene where Oasis takes on all the cocks by herself.  Oasis sets these cocks ablaze, and makes them fire off like the fireworks on the fourth of July.  It is a tremendous finale! 

Oasis is the James Brown of Porn.  Not just because she’s “Living in America,” not because she is the “hardest working person in entertainment,” not because she “Feels Good,” but because she is truly a “Sex Machine!”  OWWWW!            

Kid Cocky

“If cock were candy, I would be a Jawbreaker”

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